Cali girl once again

I finally got my California license (again) and the best part is, since I used to have one, it was just a renewal so I only had to take half of the test.  And, I still have my original license number, which I memorized about 11 years ago!  I actually wasn't sad to let go of my Idaho license.  I still miss living there and would go back, but there's nothing for us there.  But, I wouldn't mind being in cooler weather right now.  It's still in the 90's here and it's almost October!!!

Feeling Better

Okay, so I'm feeling better about everything.  I'm on medication that has a tendency to make me extremely emotional/hormonal and I think that factored in with the fact that Ryan was gone for a few days and I had a few bad days at work just created a meltdown!  

I had to just realize how temporary our current state is.  Ryan is going to get transferred to a different project anytime between March and July of next year, and that's coming up soon, especially when I think about the fact that we've already been here for 4 months and sometimes it only feels like a few weeks!  And hopefully very soon we'll be adding to our family, but nothing yet.  So please keep us in mind and do whatever you do, cross your fingers, pray, dance a jig, etc. to bring us good luck to make that happen!  

The summer of my discontent

I finally pinpointed the reason for my feelings of melancholy lately. I just haven't been my total self since we've moved, I still feel overwhelmed from moving and not being 100% settled yet, I jumped into a job before I was ready to start working again and there is something else constantly looming over my head that I can't get to go away. I feel like Tantalus from the Greek myths, where what I want is right at my fingertips but when I go to reach for it I can't have it.

Anyways, I realized that for the first time I have nothing to look forward to and I don't know what to do with myself. For the last, hhmmm, probably 10 year or so, there's been the prospect of change and something new happening in life, and now that's over. First there was graduating from high school and going to college, then Ryan and I getting married, then finishing college and starting my career, Ryan finishing college and getting a job, us moving and now that the move has happened and we're here there's nothing else happening that I can look forward to. How depressing. Yes, things will happen, but not anytime soon that I know of. Ryan will change projects next summer, but since we don't know where they'll send him it's not anything to look forward to, especially if we have to move again. Ugh. Then there's the prospect of Guam but it could be 2 years before that happens, and at least a year to a year and a half until we actually find out about it. So it's completely ridiculous to look forward to that when I don't know anything about it. And who knows when, if ever, we'll have kids and I can't look forward to that because I'll just be constantly disappointed, plus that would be ridiculous to look forward to something that isn't happening in the first place.

Something better come up soon, or else I'm going to go crazy, sell all of our possessions and plan a trip around the world for a year just so I have something to look forward to and be excited about for the future. I shouldn't have just given myself that idea . . .

Seriously

McGrath State Beach-I got it off the internet so I have no idea who those people are and why the pic says "Shelly" on it-oh well

Okay, I have been ignoring my blog really badly lately.  It's just that when I get home, cook dinner, clean up, spend a little bit of time with Ryan and then it's time for bed, there's really no time to blog.  So, here you go and I promise some pics soon.  They're already on the computer, I just have to upload them but I need some dinner first. :)

Last weekend we went beach camping at McGrath state beach in Oxnard.  It's north of Malibu and is pretty much south Ventura.  It was cold!  I could never go back to Idaho now, I was actually cold, cold, cold in 70 degree weather.  It's still in the 90's here so I'm getting quite used to it.  I still feel hot, but anything less than 75 or 80 feels cold to me now.  Anyway, it was fun to get away and camp.  We didn't do any swimming or sunbathing because it was totally overcast and windy but it was still so fun to get out and do something.  I also saw my cousin Rachel, who happened to be in Santa Barbara that weekend on a break from her studying abroad that she's doing in Costa Rica!  Good to see you Rach even though it was short!

Other than that we're just working and that's keeping us plenty busy.  Ryan's in Irvine right now for training for a few days.  We still don't know anything about Guam (but I hope we find out soon!!!!) and nothing else is new.  So, this summer was it for fun blog entries for us.  Oh, I am going to New Kids on the Block so that will bring some excitement in about a month!

Ryan's spill

About 2 weeks ago Ryan had an accident with his motorcycle.  He is totally okay and did not get in it with anyone else, just himself and the nasty, oily, filthy road in Los Angeles.  He was getting off the freeway and making a right hand turn.  The gutter was overflowing with garbage and he said the road was slick with oil and he slid out and fell over.  He scraped his knees pretty bad, tore his jacket on the sleeve, and scraped his bike in various places on the right side.  Other than that he was totally fine, just extremely pissed off at how disgusting L.A. is that the gutters are overflowing with garbage and oil so much that it pollutes the streets.  I'm very grateful that no one else was involved and that he didn't get hurt.  So if you happen to hear anything, that's what happened.